You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
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