Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
