If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
