Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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