ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
