The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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