Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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