Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
