Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
