things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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