Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
