32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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