That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
