i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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