i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
