Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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