I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
