Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
