Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize