apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
