if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
