But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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