I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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