I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
