I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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