If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize