I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think I died a long time ago.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
