I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
