As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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