Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
