yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
