I didn't shave. On purpose
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
