addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
