he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
