We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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