it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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