i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
