the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
