I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
