i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
