i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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