Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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