Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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