My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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