That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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