I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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