So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
