Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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