It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's shark week go big or go home
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize