You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
