4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's just like the Real World with babies
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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