Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
