I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize