I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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