is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
