Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
