Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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