i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
