why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
